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We heard the classic French ballad “La vie en rose” three times while eating at La Grande Boucherie. Three versions, including Lady Gaga’s take from A Star Is Born. No soundtrack could be more perfect for eating at this massive yet cramped French restaurant (two floors, 10,000 square feet, a million human bodies), another River North theme park with bad pricey food.
Attractions at La Grande Boucherie include trying to not hip-check diners while walking to your table, stuffing yourself into a comically small booth, and guessing how many ingredients were forgotten in each dish. The food here is constantly underwhelming, like the $27 escargot that tastes like pepperoni-flavored gum, and the braised, dry rabbit leg with pasta that gets only a little flavor from sweet prunes. At least the profiteroles are satisfying, so if the cheap 1900s-styled decor is too alluring to resist, order dessert, watch the frenzied staff pour dense dark chocolate sauce on top, and have dinner elsewhere.
